Sri Aurobindo's
habit in action was not to devise beforehand and plan
but to keep a fixed purpose, watch events, prepare forces
and act when he felt it to be the right moment. His first
organized work in politics (grouping people who accepted
the idea of independence and were prepared to take up
an appropriate action) was undertaken at an age, but took
a regular shape in or about 1902; two years later he began
his practice of Yoga - not to clarify his ideas, but to
find the spiritual strength which would support him and
enlighten his way.
Before he
met Lele, Sri Aurobindo had some spiritual experiences,
but that was before he knew anything about Yoga or even
what Yoga was, - e.g., a vast calm which descended upon
him at the moment when he stepped first on Indian soil
after his long absence, in fact with his first step on
the Apollo Bunder in Bombay: (this calm surrounded him
and remained for long months afterwards); the realisation
of the vacant Infinite while walking on the ridge of the
Takhti-Suleman in Kashmir; the living presence of Kali
in a shrine on the banks of the Narmada; the vision of
the Godhead surging up from within when in danger of a
carriage accident in Baroda in the first year of his stay,
etc. But these were inner experiences, not part of Sadhana.
He started Yoga by himself without a Guru, getting the
rule from a friend, a disciple of Brahmananda of Ganga
Math; it was confined at first to assiduous practice of
prãnayãma (at one time for 6 hours a day).
There was no conflict or wavering between Yoga and politics;
when he started Yoga, he carried on both without any idea
of opposition between them. He wanted however to find
a Guru. He met a Naga Sannyasi in the course of this search,
but did not accept him as Guru, though he was confirmed
by him in a belief in Yoga-power when he saw him cure
Barin in almost a moment of a violent and clinging hill-fever
by merely cutting through a glassful of water crosswise
with a knife while he repeated a silent Mantra. Barin
drank and was cured. He also met Brahmamamda and was greatly
impressed by him; but he had no helper or Guru in Yoga
till he met Lele and that was only for a short time.
My yoga begun in
1904 had always been personal and apart; those around
me knew I was a Sadhak but they knew little more as I
kept all that went on in me to myself. It was only after
my release that for the first time I spoke at Uttarpara
publicly about my spiritual experiences. Until I went
to Pondicherry I took no disciples; with those who accompanied
me or joined me in Pondicherry I had at first the relation
of friends and companions rather than of a Guru and disciples;
it was on the ground of politics that I had come to know
them and not on the spiritual ground. Afterwards only
there was a gradual development of spiritual relations
until the Mother came back from Japan and the Ashram was
founded or rather founded itself in 1926. I began my Yoga
in 1904 without a Guru; in 1908 I received important help
from a Mahratta Yogi and discovered the foundations of
my Sadhana; but from that time till the Mother came to
India I received no spiritual help from anyone else. My
Sadhana before and afterwards was not founded upon books
but upon personal experiences that crowded on me from
within. But in the jail I had the Gita and meditated with
the help of the Upanishads; these were the only books
from which I found guidance; the Veda which I first began
to read long afterwards in Pondicherry rather confirmed
what experiences I already had than was any guide to my
Sadhana. I sometimes turned to the Gita for light when
there was a question or a difficulty and usually received
help or an answer from it
It is a fact that I was
hearing constantly the voice of Vivekananda speaking to
me for a fortnight in the jail in my solitary meditation
and felt his presence
The voice spoke only on a
special and limited but very important field of spiritual
experience and it ceased as soon as it had finished saying
all that it had to say on that subject.
I had no urge towards
spirituality in me, I developed spirituality. I was incapable
of understanding metaphysics, I developed into a philosopher.
I had no eye for painting - I developed it by Yoga. I
transformed my nature from what it was to what it was
not. I did it by a special manner, not by a miracle and
I did it to show what could be done and how it could be
done. I did not do it out of any personal necessity of
my own or by a miracle without any process. I say that
if it is not so, then my Yoga is useless and my life was
a mistake - a mere absurd freak of Nature without meaning
or consequence. You all seem to think it a great compliment
to me to say that what I have done has no meaning for
anybody except myself - it is the most damaging criticism
on my work that could be made. I also did not do it by
myself, if you mean by myself the Aurobindo that was.
He did it by the help of Krishna and the Divine Shakti.
I had help from human sources also.
I
knew something
about sculpture, but blind to painting. Suddenly one day
in the Alipore jail while meditating I saw some pictures
on the walls of the cell and lo and behold! The artistic
eye in me opened and I knew all about painting except
of course the more material side of the technique. I don't
always know how to express though, because I lack the
knowledge of the proper expression, but that does not
stand in the way of a keen and understanding appreciation.
So, there you are: all things are possible in Yoga.
- Sri
Aurobindo