Mother,
last time you said that often there is in us a dark element
which... which suggests to us... which makes us commit
stupidities. So you said that when one is conscious of
this element, it must be pulled out. But does pulling
it out mean... For example, when one is conscious that
this element comes to make us do stupid things, then,
if by an effort of will one abstains from doing it, can
one say that one has pulled it out?
That
one doesn't commit stupidities?
By
an effort of will. For example, one doesn't do that action
which one shouldn't do.
Yes,
yes.
Then,
can one say that one has pulled out the element which
was the cause?
One
has sat upon it.
Then,
how to pull it out?
For
that, first of all, you must become conscious of it, you
see, put it right in front of you, and cut the links which
attach it to your consciousness. It is a work of inner psychology,
you know.
One can see, when one studies oneself very attentively...
For example, if you observe yourself, you see that one
day you are very generous. Let us take this, it is easy
to understand. Very generous: generous in your feelings,
generous in your sensations, generous in your thoughts
and even in material things; that is, you understand the
faults of others, their intentions, weaknesses, even nasty
movements. You see all this, and you are full of good
feelings, of generosity. You tell yourself, "Well...
everyone does the best he can!"—like that.
Another day—or perhaps the very next minute—you
will notice in yourself a kind of dryness, fixity, something
that is bitter, that judges severely, that goes as far
as bearing a grudge, has rancour, would like the evil-doer
punished, that almost has feelings of vengeance; just
the very opposite of the former! One day someone harms
you and you say, "Doesn't matter! He did not know"...
or "He couldn't do otherwise"... or "That's
his nature"... or "He could not understand!"
The next day or perhaps an hour later you say, "He
must be punished! He must pay for it! He must be made
to feel that he has done wrong!''—with a kind of
rage; and you want to take things, you want to keep them
for yourself, you have all the feelings of jealousy, envy,
narrowness, you see, just the very opposite of the other
feeling.
This is the dark side. And so, the moment one sees it,
if one looks at it and doesn't say, "It is I",
if one says, "No, it is my shadow, it is the being
I must throw out of myself", one puts on it the light
of the other part, one tries to bring them face to face;
and with the knowledge and light of the other, one doesn't
try so much to convince—because that is very difficult—but
one compels it to remain quiet... first to stand farther
away, then one flings it very far away so that it can
no longer return—putting a great light on it. There
are instances in which it is possible to change, but this
is very rare. There are instances in which one can put
upon this being—or this shadow—put upon it such
an intense light that it transforms it, and it changes
into what is the truth of your being.
But this is a rare thing... It can be done, but it is
rare. Usually, the best thing is to say, "No, this
is not I! I don't want it! I have nothing to do with this
movement, it doesn't exist for me, it is something contrary
to my nature!" And so, by dint of insisting and driving
it away, finally one separates oneself from it.
But one must first be clear and sincere enough to see
the conflict within oneself. Usually one doesn't pay any
attention to these things. One goes from one extreme to
the other. You see, you can say, to put it in very simple
words: one day I am good, the next day I am bad. And this
seems quite natural... Or even, sometimes for one hour
you are good and the next hour you are wicked; or else,
sometimes the whole day through one is good and suddenly
one becomes wicked, for a minute very wicked, all the
more wicked as one was good! Only, one doesn't observe
it, thoughts cross one's mind, violent, bad, hateful things,
like that... Usually one pays no attention to it. But
this is what must be caught! As soon as it manifests,
you must catch it like this (Mother makes a movement)
with a very firm grip, and then hold it, hold it up to
the light and say, "No! I don't want you! I—don't—want—you!
I have nothing to do with this! You are going to get out
of here, and you won't return!''
(After a silence)... And this is something—an
experience that one can have daily, or almost... when
one has those movements of great enthusiasm, great aspiration,
when one suddenly becomes conscious of the divine goal,
the urge towards the Divine, the desire to take part in
the divine work, when one comes out of oneself in a great
joy and great force... and then, a few hours later, one
is miserable for a tiny little thing; one indulges in
so petty, so narrow, so commonplace a self-interestedness,
has such a dull desire... and all the rest has evaporated
as if it did not exist. One is quite accustomed to contradictions;
one doesn't pay attention to this and that is why all
these things live comfortably together as neighbours.
One must first discover them and prevent them from intermingling
in one's consciousness: decide between them, separate
the shadow from the light. Later one can get rid of the
shadow.
There we are, and now it is time. Anything urgent to ask?
No?
