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What
Sri Aurobindo has written, the words ["caught a glimpse"]
which have been translated (In the French text of Thoughts and
Aphorisms read by the Mother.) as entrevoyaient, means
to see something in its totality, but for a very brief moment. It
is obvious that a constant vision of all these wonders would automatically
compel you to set out on the path. It is also certain that a little
fragmentary glimpse is not enoughit would not have enough
weight to compel you to follow the path.
But
if you had a total vision, however brief, you would not be able
to resist the temptation of making the effort needed to realise
it. But, in fact, the total vision is exceptional, and that is why
Sri Aurobindo says to us: "If mankind only..."
To
tell the truth, it very seldom happens that those who are ready,
who are undoubtedly meant for realisation, do not have, at a certain
moment in their lives, even if only for a few seconds, the experience
of what this realisation is.
But
even those whose destiny is certain have to struggle mightily, resolutely,
against this "something" which one seems to take in with
the very air one breathes: this fear, this dread of what may happen.
And this is so stupid, because, in the final analysis, the destiny
of each individual is the same: you are born, you livemore
or less satisfactorilyand you die; then you wait for a certain
length of time, and again you are born, you livemore or less
satisfactorilyand again you die, and so on indefinitely, until
you feel you have had enough of it.
Fear
of what? Fear of coming out of the rut? Fear of being free? Fear
of no longer being a prisoner?
And then, when you have enough courage to overcome this, when you
say, "Come what may! After all, there's not much to lose",
then you become wary, you wonder if it is reasonable, if it is true,
if all that is not an illusion, if you are not just imagining things,
if there is really any substance to it... And mind you, this mistrust
seems stupid, but you encounter it even in the most intelligent,
even in those who have repeatedly had conclusive experiencesit
is something that you take in with the food you eat, the air you
breathe, your contacts with others; and that is why you can speak
of the "tentacles of Nature", everywhere, in all things,
like an octopus stealing in and catching you and binding you.
Even
when you have overcome these two obstacles, when the experiences
are so strong that you can no longer doubt, that doubt becomes impossiblelike
doubting one's own lifethen there remains something awful,
petty, dry, corrosive: scepticism. And this is founded on human
pride, that is why it lasts so long. You want to think that you
are above all these things, "Oh, I am not one to fall into
those traps! I am a reasonable man, I see things from a practical
point of view; I'm not so easily deceived." It is awful!...
It is sordid. But it is dangerous.
Even
in moments of greatest enthusiasm, even when one is filled with
an exceptional, marvellous experience rises from the lowest depths.
It is ugly, slimy, disgusting. And yet it rises, and spoils everything.
To
conquer it, one must be a mighty warrior. One must struggle against
all the obscurities of Nature, against all her tricks, all her temptations.
Why
does she do this? It is as if she were moving away from her own
goal. But I have already explained this to you many times. Nature
knows very well where she is going and what the outcome is. She
wants it, but... in her own way. She does not feel that any time
is being wasted. She has all eternity before her. She wants to follow
her own way as she likes, meandering as much as she likes, going
back on her tracks, straying from the straight path, starting the
same thing all over again several times to see what will happen.
And these enlightened cranks, who want to get there at once, as
soon as possible, who thirst for truth, light, beauty, balancethey
bother her, they urge her on, they tell her that she is wasting
her time. Her time! She always replies, "But I have all eternity
before me. Am I in a hurry? Why are you in such a hurry?" And
again, with a smile: "Your haste is all too human; widen yourselves,
become infinite, be eternal, and you will no longer be in a hurry."
There
is so much fun on the way, for her... but not for everyone.
This
is what happens when one sees things from a great height, from a
great distance, when one's view is vast, almost infinite. Everything
that upsets human beings and makes them suffer, disappears; so those
who are very wise, who have abandoned life for the sake of higher
wisdom tell you with a smile, "Why suffer? Come out of it and
you will suffer no more." That is all very well individually
but, in fact, if you think about others you may wish this rather
tragic comedy would come to an end sooner. And it is very justifiable
to feel tired of living like a beast at pasture, of roaming from
one patch of grass to another, of ruminating in a corner, of having
such narrow horizons and of missing all the splendours of life.
Perhaps
it amuses Nature that we should be like that, but we are tired of
it, we want to be different.
And that is it. When you have truly had enough of it and want things
to be different, then you have the courage, the strength, the capacity
to conquer these three terrible enemies: fear, doubt and scepticism.
But I repeat, it is not enough to sit down one fine day, watch yourself
be, and struggle with these things inside you once and for all.
You have to do it and do it again and again and continue in a way
which seems almost endless, to be sure that you have got rid of
it all. In reality, you are perhaps never truly rid of it, but there
comes a time when inside yourself, you are so different that you
can no longer be touched by these things. You can see them, but
you see them with a smile, and at a simple gesture they go away,
back to where they came from, perhaps a little changed, perhaps
a little less strong, less obstinate, less aggressiveuntil
the time when the Light is so strong that all darkness vanishes.
As
for the marvels Sri Aurobindo tells us about, it is better not to
describe them, because each individual feels them, undergoes them,
experiences them in his own wayand for each person that is
the best way. One must not adopt another's way, one must go one's
own way, then the experience has its full value, its full inestimable
value.
And
finally, I wish that you may all have these experiences yourselves.
And for that, faith, confidence, much humaneness and great goodwill
are needed.
Open,
aspire, and... wait. It will surely come, the Grace is there. It
asks only to be able to work for everyone.
10
October 1958
- The Mother
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